My experience dating someone with Bipolar Disorder
February 2, 2020
I have talked about certain experiences with this ex in other blogs. The reason I bring this particular ex up is because he was my last serious relationship before my current boyfriend. This is technically the freshest, not to mention one of the more traumatic relationships I have been in. I guess they all were a little traumatic but this one in particular was a roller coaster to say the least.
We met, first moment I saw him I felt a spark which was the first time I had ever felt that. As soon as my eyes met his I was like a giddy school girl. After our first date, it was history, we were crazy about each other and made it official pretty much right away. Two weeks passed and he told me that he had Bipolar Disorder. I knew what it was but I didn't know much about it. I was so crazy about him that I told him it didn't matter and that we would work through it. I even did a little research on Bipolar Disorder and it didn't sound very promising. I read that the majority of people with Bipolar Disorder suffer from depression, are more likely to have failed relationships and marriages, and they have issues with money because they are compulsive. I ignored the article and went on about my life.
Things were great, as they always are in the beginning, and we decided to move in together after only 6 months. He was not working at the time, he was a full time student and living off of student loans and was able to pull more loans to help me pay some expenses. I bought the condo and life was good! We spent a lot of our time working and doing school stuff as this was right around the time I started going back to college. We spent the majority of our time together and I even stopped hanging around my friends because my time was consumed by him.
It wasn't until year two that we started having problems. I think the problems were always there but I was so blinded by love that I ignored the warning signs until I finally took the blinders off and started paying attention. Anytime I wanted to hang out with my friends it was a problem. Not just a problem but a huge problem. If I wanted to go out, I pretty much had to give him a two weeks advance notice so that he was aware. He would ask questions like where are you going, with who, what time are you coming back? Even with the notice he always made it a point to pick a fight the day of. I think he thought if he pissed me off enough that I would change my mind and not go but I never did that. I always went out, however, he would be blowing my phone up all night until I got home and sometimes he would fight with me literally all night long when I got home.
One time, I went to his best friend's fiance' Bachelorette party all the way in Harvey, IL. Harvey is almost an hour from the city and I went with my then best friend who lived like 15 minutes from my house. I picked her up and we went to the bachelorette, left around 2 AM, drove almost an hour back, dropped her off, and I got home at almost 5:00 AM. He was SO MAD! Kept asking me where I was at and why I took so long and I explained everything to him and he didn't let me live that night down for a while. I had fun that night but it almost wasn't worth it because of the aftermath of a fight I had to endure.
Something else we used to fight a lot about was my daughter. When she would talk back to him or do something to annoy him, he would get mad at me and start a fight with me. It was so hard because sometimes he used to get mad at her because he was just in one of his moods and there were a few times I had to check him not to talk to her a certain way and I think that and he would feel disrespected because I would check him in front of her. Imagine every single thing your kid does results in you getting a talking to. It was really hard because she's obviously my #1 and I will always have her back and I almost felt like he needed to know he was #1. Towards the end of our relationship I would tell him I'm not getting involved anymore, if he has a problem with her he has to talk it out with her and that I couldn't be in the middle anymore. This definitely caused me a lot of stress - your mate should never put you in that type of situation.
When we were around his family and friends, he was always social and talkative but when it came to my family and friends he was as quiet as a mouse. Like I said, I was blinded because I was in love so at first I didn't say anything but as time went on I kept asking him why he is so quiet around my people and why doesn't he try to get to know them more? He told me that if they are my friends then THEY should be making the effort to get to know him better. I was like um okay? We went on a 3 day, 2 night camping trip with my friends and I think he said like 10 sentences the entire time we were there. It was really annoying because I felt like he was uncomfortable and like I had to babysit him the entire time making sure he felt comfortable so I barely even enjoyed myself or got to hang with my friends.
When things were good, they were great but when they were bad, they were BAD! Things would be so happy and mellow when he was in a good mood but when he was upset, the whole day was put on hold fighting or talking him through being depressed. I became so consumed with always trying to make sure he was happy and in a good mood that I honestly lost myself while doing it. I no longer thought about myself or what made me happy. I stopped doing things I liked like going out and socializing with my friends. One of my girls had noticed that I was acting different and called me out on it. She said "ever since you got with him you've become socially awkward and he is too." I was so damn offended! I wasn't even offended she said I was socially awkward, I got mad that she thought that he was. I kept my distance from her since that day and we didn't really hang out again until him and I broke up.
Like I said, the good times were great but the bad times got scary. There would be many times where we would get into an argument and I would try to leave and he would literally stand in front of the door and not allow me to leave. There were a few times where I would try to run to the front door and he'd run in front of it and block it and then I would run to the back door and he would run and in stand in front of it, not allowing me to leave. There were times when I would run the washroom to get away and he would be knocking acting crazy and threatening to break the door down. One time he got so mad he punched a hole in the back of the bedroom door. He would throw shit, slam shit, break things, yell at the top of his lungs in my face, get in my face like he was gonna hit me. He definitely brought the worst out in me. I am not a physical person and I do not like fighting, HOWEVER, I ain't no punk and I am not gonna let anyone get in my face without attempting to defend myself. There is something about another human being screaming, at the top of their lungs, in your face that puts you in defense mode. Not to mention, this human being being twice your height and size with a loud man voice. I hate to admit it but I had to throw a few punches to get him to back off. I didn't do it often but it happened too many times the few times it did happen. One time is too many times.
One time, our argument got so bad that he was in my face acting like he was going to hit me. I called him out and he kept screaming in my face "hit me," like he was provoking me and out of rage I would throw a punch and then he would act so shocked and hurt like "I can't believe you hit me" like what other choice do you give me? He would seriously push me to the point where I felt I had no other choice! He then picked me up, lifted me above his head and slammed my ass down on the bed as hard as he could! I couldn't believe it! I have never been manhandled like that in my life and I couldn't believe someone who loved me would try to hurt me physically. That was definitely a turning point in our relationship. It was that fight that made me begin to question our relationship.
The thing that broke us apart was him getting too comfortable with me. When I love, I love hard and I am an extremely loyal person and I think he thought that I was so whooped that I would never leave him. Like I said, he was a full time student and when we moved in we agreed that I would pay the mortgage and the majority of the bills and that he would pay the assessments and groceries. One day, I got a letter from an attorney stating that they were going to take me to collections for being behind 6 months in assessments. I was fuckin LIVID! I remember asking him what the letter was about and he looked at it and finally confessed that he didn't have enough money to pay the assessments. I was so mad because I had to dip into my savings to save his ass. I was more pissed that I was with a grown ass man, again, who I was taking care of. How did I end up in this situation again (see baby daddy drama blog)?? I think I lost a lot of respect for him after this situation and saw him in a different light. I was always taught that a man always takes care of his family and he will do anything he has to do to provide. I was with a man who was content living off of his girl, gross.
This man would cry about being broke ALL THE TIME yet his entitlement held him back hustling and making money! I remember when I was young my dad used to work full time and he had a newspaper route that he would wake up for at midnight and do his runs all night and then go to his 9-5. That's how I was raised and maybe that is part of why I am a hustler myself. I would try to look for jobs for this man and nothing was good enough for him. I would find easy side or cash jobs and he always had an excuse for why he couldn't do it or just would strait up say "I am too good to do that." He is definitely one of the most entitled people I had ever met in my life and I used to tell him it was "disgusting" to see someone act the way he did.
After the assessment debacle he then came to me and told me he could no longer afford to pay the assessments so I took over those. Then a month or two later he came to me and told me he could not afford groceries anymore. Are you fuckin serious? I was disgusted by this. A grown ass man that was perfectly capable of doing more to earn more money but rather his single mom GF handle everything on my own instead of him trying to go deliver pizzas or something. Wow. I couldn't believe how lazy and unmotivated he was and it was beyond a turnoff. It was a huge turnoff and I literally was turned off by him. I no longer wanted to have sex with him and of course that caused problems. He started accusing me of cheating on him because I never wanted to have sex anymore. I was not cheating, I never cheated on him, I was 100% faithful, I just didn't see him in the same light anymore.
I had issues of being used by men because of my baby daddy. I told my ex SO MANY TIMES that I was scared he was trying to get over on me. We had a lot of arguments about my insecurities and he would get upset telling me he was nothing like my BD and that he wasn't going to do the same thing to me. He promised, swore up and down and in the end, he ended up being the person he said he would never be and he knew it. When we broke up I told him he ended up doing exactly what I was scared of and he turned into someone he promised he'd never be.
Let me get into the reason of WHY he was so broke but before I get into that I will mention that before I found out where his money was going, I offered to help him with his finances because I am really good with money. I offered to give him an allowance and pay bills for him and save for him too.. He always had an excuse for why he couldn't do it or he would just strait up say that he didn't want to do that. I didn't know why but I eventually figured it out.
Here it is...
He used to smoke a lot of green. So much green that he ended up spending every penny on it. Yes. Couldn't take care of his own family because he rather support his recreational habit. This man was SO thirsty for it too.. Do not get me wrong, I enjoy partaking in green too, however, I always handle my responsibilities first and I would never put that over paying my bills ever! It got so bad that I didn't enjoy smoking anymore because he took the fun out of it. He made it seem like we couldn't do anything without smoking first. Couldn't eat, sleep, or go out without it. It got to a point where I just stopped smoking with him and literally told him he took the fun out of it for me and that I felt like it was becoming something we HAD to do instead of something I wanted to do.
Now I realized why he never allowed me to look at his bank accounts. He knew if I saw what he was spending his money on that it would be an issue and once I found out, it certainly was!
My last straw was the day we got into another crazy fight. He was just crying broke again telling me he was stressed because of money and I was getting ready to drop my daughter off at gymnastics. He told me he was going to run out really quick and I asked him for what and he said to go buy some green. I was like "didn't you just say you were broke?" Hes like "ah but for that you know I always find a way." BBOOII did those words piss me the fuck off. So I responded "funny how you always got money for that but you can't find a way to pay your bills." That sentence set off fireworks! He started screaming at me at the top of his lungs again and telling me "fuck you Jenny. Why do you have to say stupid shit like that." I was like "because its true, its like a slap in the face and you sit there and think its funny." It was all downhill from there. He started screaming and hitting the dashboard and this just triggered me and I closed fist backhanded him in the mouth. I swear to you on everything I love I am in no way, shape, or form a violent person but that is how toxic our relationship became that it was almost an impulse at this point. Once I hit him he started pushing me and I was driving the car so I was swerving and I lost it! I was screaming like a crazy person to get out of my car and he refused to leave. I was crying and begging to please leave me alone and that I hate him and that he needs to get out. He kept refusing and eventually hes like "fine I will get out but you admit you were wrong for hitting me." Im like "I was wrong for hitting you not get out!" He finally leaves and I SKKKRTTT the eff outta there!
I didn't even know where I was going I just started driving. My friend had lived a few blocks up and I unintentionally ended up at her house. I pull up and she didn't even know what had happened yet. I am halfway into her garage and then he pulls up screaming and cursing me out like a crazy person, being loud and making a scene. I was mortified. He kept calling me a "bitch" and telling her that I hit him and that I am crazy, blah blah blah. I didn't say a word. He was just going off and I knew if I argued back that it would only get worse. Eventually my friend intervened and she's like "You're horrible! Do you hear the way you are talking about her!?" As soon as she said it, it was like a switch and he stopped! Like day and night he stopped, apologized to her and I, and he left. I stayed at her house until I had to pick up my daughter from gymnastics. I was dreading going home! I got home, we had dinner, I put my babygirl to bed and I went to the living room to relax. Normally we would relax together after she went to bed but I didn't want to be around him.
I was just sitting on the couch trying to think everything through and just try to chill out because I was still upset. He then comes out of the room and he comes up to me with his hands on his hips and says to me "so what do you have to say for yourself?" I was like WHHHAA!? I was dumbfounded, yet again and right at this moment is where the light bulb went off in my head and I was like he doesn't respect you or take you seriously, and I knew that we needed a break. I told him that I wasn't in the mood to talk and I wanted to be alone. He got more mad and hes like "what are you going to do break up with me?" I said no. I actually had zero intentions of breaking up. He then got in my face again and told me quietly, "if you are going to do it just do it already." "Do it. Do it Jenny, break up with me go ahead." I honestly couldn't say anything else. I was done. I didn't respond and when I went to bed he tried kissing me goodnight and I remember not kissing him back and him getting mad (as always).
The next day at work, when I slept on it and was more calm I told him that he needed to go to his parents house and that we needed a break for a few days. I honestly didn't intend to break off our relationship. I just thought we needed some time apart. When he was gone, I felt the biggest weight off of my shoulders and the peace in my home was a beautiful feeling that I didn't even know was lacking until I felt it again. Every day that passed I felt happier and more at ease and I totally was not expecting to feel this way. I thought I was going to miss him and want him home. Nope. Everyday that passed the less I wanted him around. When he began to ask when he can come back I told him that I decided we are not getting back together and his first response was "if I knew you were going to break up with me, I would have never left." He begged and pleaded but I was good, I enjoyed my peace much more than his craziness.
Being the entitled person he is, even though he hadn't paid a bill in months, he still felt he had authority to go into the condo whenever he pleased and refused to give me back the house keys. He just simply felt that he didn't have to. This was his bullshit way of trying to have some type of control over me. I ended up changing the locks and boy was he mad when I did but I didn't care. I also told him that maybe I can consider getting back with him if he paid me back the money he owed me for the assessments. Oh, I paid those assessments yes, but it was under the condition that he was going to pay me back - a verbal agreement. He said he would but of course he never did.
We lived very close to each other and went to the same gym. There were a few times I saw him at the gym and I would strait ignore his ass but of course he always made it a point to come up to me and talk to me. At first I was cool and would talk to him but as time went on I was annoyed he hadn't paid me back so I started being bitchy haha. The last time I ever had contact with him - I was getting out of my car at the gym and he was walking to his car and he saw me. He came to my car and said whats up, I said Hi and he tried hugging me. I moved back and told him he lost the right to touch me. Hes like common just give me a hug and I told him no and he tried and I just gave him this look and he stopped (my looks DO NOT LIE). I told him "where is my money" he started laughing and said "fuck outta here with your money." I rolled my eyes and walked away and never spoke to him again.
This relationship taught me so many lessons and I stayed single for almost 3 years after him. I knew what I deserved after him. I knew I would never want to be with a lazy man ever again. I knew I needed someone level headed like myself. I just know that I am a good person and I deserve the same in a mate. I dated a lot of duds after him but found my love last year. A man who is nothing like any man I have ever been with. Someone who is everything he said he would be and does everything he says he will do. He treats me and my daughter like queens and knows my value. I feel like I went through all these crazy drama relationships so that I can appreciate a good man. I appreciate my man so much. I swear I thought I was going to be alone forever because my standards got so high that I thought no man would ever want to try that hard to be with me and then I met him. My dream come true. All the crap I went through with these losers brought me to my winner!
WHen I went to NOLA and he had a heart attack
He was mean to his family
I was scared to do anything because I knew he would get mad
I have talked about certain experiences with this ex in other blogs. The reason I bring this particular ex up is because he was my last serious relationship before my current boyfriend. This is technically the freshest, not to mention one of the more traumatic relationships I have been in. I guess they all were a little traumatic but this one in particular was a roller coaster to say the least.
We met, first moment I saw him I felt a spark which was the first time I had ever felt that. As soon as my eyes met his I was like a giddy school girl. After our first date, it was history, we were crazy about each other and made it official pretty much right away. Two weeks passed and he told me that he had Bipolar Disorder. I knew what it was but I didn't know much about it. I was so crazy about him that I told him it didn't matter and that we would work through it. I even did a little research on Bipolar Disorder and it didn't sound very promising. I read that the majority of people with Bipolar Disorder suffer from depression, are more likely to have failed relationships and marriages, and they have issues with money because they are compulsive. I ignored the article and went on about my life.
Things were great, as they always are in the beginning, and we decided to move in together after only 6 months. He was not working at the time, he was a full time student and living off of student loans and was able to pull more loans to help me pay some expenses. I bought the condo and life was good! We spent a lot of our time working and doing school stuff as this was right around the time I started going back to college. We spent the majority of our time together and I even stopped hanging around my friends because my time was consumed by him.
It wasn't until year two that we started having problems. I think the problems were always there but I was so blinded by love that I ignored the warning signs until I finally took the blinders off and started paying attention. Anytime I wanted to hang out with my friends it was a problem. Not just a problem but a huge problem. If I wanted to go out, I pretty much had to give him a two weeks advance notice so that he was aware. He would ask questions like where are you going, with who, what time are you coming back? Even with the notice he always made it a point to pick a fight the day of. I think he thought if he pissed me off enough that I would change my mind and not go but I never did that. I always went out, however, he would be blowing my phone up all night until I got home and sometimes he would fight with me literally all night long when I got home.
One time, I went to his best friend's fiance' Bachelorette party all the way in Harvey, IL. Harvey is almost an hour from the city and I went with my then best friend who lived like 15 minutes from my house. I picked her up and we went to the bachelorette, left around 2 AM, drove almost an hour back, dropped her off, and I got home at almost 5:00 AM. He was SO MAD! Kept asking me where I was at and why I took so long and I explained everything to him and he didn't let me live that night down for a while. I had fun that night but it almost wasn't worth it because of the aftermath of a fight I had to endure.
Something else we used to fight a lot about was my daughter. When she would talk back to him or do something to annoy him, he would get mad at me and start a fight with me. It was so hard because sometimes he used to get mad at her because he was just in one of his moods and there were a few times I had to check him not to talk to her a certain way and I think that and he would feel disrespected because I would check him in front of her. Imagine every single thing your kid does results in you getting a talking to. It was really hard because she's obviously my #1 and I will always have her back and I almost felt like he needed to know he was #1. Towards the end of our relationship I would tell him I'm not getting involved anymore, if he has a problem with her he has to talk it out with her and that I couldn't be in the middle anymore. This definitely caused me a lot of stress - your mate should never put you in that type of situation.
When we were around his family and friends, he was always social and talkative but when it came to my family and friends he was as quiet as a mouse. Like I said, I was blinded because I was in love so at first I didn't say anything but as time went on I kept asking him why he is so quiet around my people and why doesn't he try to get to know them more? He told me that if they are my friends then THEY should be making the effort to get to know him better. I was like um okay? We went on a 3 day, 2 night camping trip with my friends and I think he said like 10 sentences the entire time we were there. It was really annoying because I felt like he was uncomfortable and like I had to babysit him the entire time making sure he felt comfortable so I barely even enjoyed myself or got to hang with my friends.
When things were good, they were great but when they were bad, they were BAD! Things would be so happy and mellow when he was in a good mood but when he was upset, the whole day was put on hold fighting or talking him through being depressed. I became so consumed with always trying to make sure he was happy and in a good mood that I honestly lost myself while doing it. I no longer thought about myself or what made me happy. I stopped doing things I liked like going out and socializing with my friends. One of my girls had noticed that I was acting different and called me out on it. She said "ever since you got with him you've become socially awkward and he is too." I was so damn offended! I wasn't even offended she said I was socially awkward, I got mad that she thought that he was. I kept my distance from her since that day and we didn't really hang out again until him and I broke up.
Like I said, the good times were great but the bad times got scary. There would be many times where we would get into an argument and I would try to leave and he would literally stand in front of the door and not allow me to leave. There were a few times where I would try to run to the front door and he'd run in front of it and block it and then I would run to the back door and he would run and in stand in front of it, not allowing me to leave. There were times when I would run the washroom to get away and he would be knocking acting crazy and threatening to break the door down. One time he got so mad he punched a hole in the back of the bedroom door. He would throw shit, slam shit, break things, yell at the top of his lungs in my face, get in my face like he was gonna hit me. He definitely brought the worst out in me. I am not a physical person and I do not like fighting, HOWEVER, I ain't no punk and I am not gonna let anyone get in my face without attempting to defend myself. There is something about another human being screaming, at the top of their lungs, in your face that puts you in defense mode. Not to mention, this human being being twice your height and size with a loud man voice. I hate to admit it but I had to throw a few punches to get him to back off. I didn't do it often but it happened too many times the few times it did happen. One time is too many times.
One time, our argument got so bad that he was in my face acting like he was going to hit me. I called him out and he kept screaming in my face "hit me," like he was provoking me and out of rage I would throw a punch and then he would act so shocked and hurt like "I can't believe you hit me" like what other choice do you give me? He would seriously push me to the point where I felt I had no other choice! He then picked me up, lifted me above his head and slammed my ass down on the bed as hard as he could! I couldn't believe it! I have never been manhandled like that in my life and I couldn't believe someone who loved me would try to hurt me physically. That was definitely a turning point in our relationship. It was that fight that made me begin to question our relationship.
The thing that broke us apart was him getting too comfortable with me. When I love, I love hard and I am an extremely loyal person and I think he thought that I was so whooped that I would never leave him. Like I said, he was a full time student and when we moved in we agreed that I would pay the mortgage and the majority of the bills and that he would pay the assessments and groceries. One day, I got a letter from an attorney stating that they were going to take me to collections for being behind 6 months in assessments. I was fuckin LIVID! I remember asking him what the letter was about and he looked at it and finally confessed that he didn't have enough money to pay the assessments. I was so mad because I had to dip into my savings to save his ass. I was more pissed that I was with a grown ass man, again, who I was taking care of. How did I end up in this situation again (see baby daddy drama blog)?? I think I lost a lot of respect for him after this situation and saw him in a different light. I was always taught that a man always takes care of his family and he will do anything he has to do to provide. I was with a man who was content living off of his girl, gross.
This man would cry about being broke ALL THE TIME yet his entitlement held him back hustling and making money! I remember when I was young my dad used to work full time and he had a newspaper route that he would wake up for at midnight and do his runs all night and then go to his 9-5. That's how I was raised and maybe that is part of why I am a hustler myself. I would try to look for jobs for this man and nothing was good enough for him. I would find easy side or cash jobs and he always had an excuse for why he couldn't do it or just would strait up say "I am too good to do that." He is definitely one of the most entitled people I had ever met in my life and I used to tell him it was "disgusting" to see someone act the way he did.
After the assessment debacle he then came to me and told me he could no longer afford to pay the assessments so I took over those. Then a month or two later he came to me and told me he could not afford groceries anymore. Are you fuckin serious? I was disgusted by this. A grown ass man that was perfectly capable of doing more to earn more money but rather his single mom GF handle everything on my own instead of him trying to go deliver pizzas or something. Wow. I couldn't believe how lazy and unmotivated he was and it was beyond a turnoff. It was a huge turnoff and I literally was turned off by him. I no longer wanted to have sex with him and of course that caused problems. He started accusing me of cheating on him because I never wanted to have sex anymore. I was not cheating, I never cheated on him, I was 100% faithful, I just didn't see him in the same light anymore.
I had issues of being used by men because of my baby daddy. I told my ex SO MANY TIMES that I was scared he was trying to get over on me. We had a lot of arguments about my insecurities and he would get upset telling me he was nothing like my BD and that he wasn't going to do the same thing to me. He promised, swore up and down and in the end, he ended up being the person he said he would never be and he knew it. When we broke up I told him he ended up doing exactly what I was scared of and he turned into someone he promised he'd never be.
Let me get into the reason of WHY he was so broke but before I get into that I will mention that before I found out where his money was going, I offered to help him with his finances because I am really good with money. I offered to give him an allowance and pay bills for him and save for him too.. He always had an excuse for why he couldn't do it or he would just strait up say that he didn't want to do that. I didn't know why but I eventually figured it out.
Here it is...
He used to smoke a lot of green. So much green that he ended up spending every penny on it. Yes. Couldn't take care of his own family because he rather support his recreational habit. This man was SO thirsty for it too.. Do not get me wrong, I enjoy partaking in green too, however, I always handle my responsibilities first and I would never put that over paying my bills ever! It got so bad that I didn't enjoy smoking anymore because he took the fun out of it. He made it seem like we couldn't do anything without smoking first. Couldn't eat, sleep, or go out without it. It got to a point where I just stopped smoking with him and literally told him he took the fun out of it for me and that I felt like it was becoming something we HAD to do instead of something I wanted to do.
Now I realized why he never allowed me to look at his bank accounts. He knew if I saw what he was spending his money on that it would be an issue and once I found out, it certainly was!
My last straw was the day we got into another crazy fight. He was just crying broke again telling me he was stressed because of money and I was getting ready to drop my daughter off at gymnastics. He told me he was going to run out really quick and I asked him for what and he said to go buy some green. I was like "didn't you just say you were broke?" Hes like "ah but for that you know I always find a way." BBOOII did those words piss me the fuck off. So I responded "funny how you always got money for that but you can't find a way to pay your bills." That sentence set off fireworks! He started screaming at me at the top of his lungs again and telling me "fuck you Jenny. Why do you have to say stupid shit like that." I was like "because its true, its like a slap in the face and you sit there and think its funny." It was all downhill from there. He started screaming and hitting the dashboard and this just triggered me and I closed fist backhanded him in the mouth. I swear to you on everything I love I am in no way, shape, or form a violent person but that is how toxic our relationship became that it was almost an impulse at this point. Once I hit him he started pushing me and I was driving the car so I was swerving and I lost it! I was screaming like a crazy person to get out of my car and he refused to leave. I was crying and begging to please leave me alone and that I hate him and that he needs to get out. He kept refusing and eventually hes like "fine I will get out but you admit you were wrong for hitting me." Im like "I was wrong for hitting you not get out!" He finally leaves and I SKKKRTTT the eff outta there!
I didn't even know where I was going I just started driving. My friend had lived a few blocks up and I unintentionally ended up at her house. I pull up and she didn't even know what had happened yet. I am halfway into her garage and then he pulls up screaming and cursing me out like a crazy person, being loud and making a scene. I was mortified. He kept calling me a "bitch" and telling her that I hit him and that I am crazy, blah blah blah. I didn't say a word. He was just going off and I knew if I argued back that it would only get worse. Eventually my friend intervened and she's like "You're horrible! Do you hear the way you are talking about her!?" As soon as she said it, it was like a switch and he stopped! Like day and night he stopped, apologized to her and I, and he left. I stayed at her house until I had to pick up my daughter from gymnastics. I was dreading going home! I got home, we had dinner, I put my babygirl to bed and I went to the living room to relax. Normally we would relax together after she went to bed but I didn't want to be around him.
I was just sitting on the couch trying to think everything through and just try to chill out because I was still upset. He then comes out of the room and he comes up to me with his hands on his hips and says to me "so what do you have to say for yourself?" I was like WHHHAA!? I was dumbfounded, yet again and right at this moment is where the light bulb went off in my head and I was like he doesn't respect you or take you seriously, and I knew that we needed a break. I told him that I wasn't in the mood to talk and I wanted to be alone. He got more mad and hes like "what are you going to do break up with me?" I said no. I actually had zero intentions of breaking up. He then got in my face again and told me quietly, "if you are going to do it just do it already." "Do it. Do it Jenny, break up with me go ahead." I honestly couldn't say anything else. I was done. I didn't respond and when I went to bed he tried kissing me goodnight and I remember not kissing him back and him getting mad (as always).
The next day at work, when I slept on it and was more calm I told him that he needed to go to his parents house and that we needed a break for a few days. I honestly didn't intend to break off our relationship. I just thought we needed some time apart. When he was gone, I felt the biggest weight off of my shoulders and the peace in my home was a beautiful feeling that I didn't even know was lacking until I felt it again. Every day that passed I felt happier and more at ease and I totally was not expecting to feel this way. I thought I was going to miss him and want him home. Nope. Everyday that passed the less I wanted him around. When he began to ask when he can come back I told him that I decided we are not getting back together and his first response was "if I knew you were going to break up with me, I would have never left." He begged and pleaded but I was good, I enjoyed my peace much more than his craziness.
Being the entitled person he is, even though he hadn't paid a bill in months, he still felt he had authority to go into the condo whenever he pleased and refused to give me back the house keys. He just simply felt that he didn't have to. This was his bullshit way of trying to have some type of control over me. I ended up changing the locks and boy was he mad when I did but I didn't care. I also told him that maybe I can consider getting back with him if he paid me back the money he owed me for the assessments. Oh, I paid those assessments yes, but it was under the condition that he was going to pay me back - a verbal agreement. He said he would but of course he never did.
We lived very close to each other and went to the same gym. There were a few times I saw him at the gym and I would strait ignore his ass but of course he always made it a point to come up to me and talk to me. At first I was cool and would talk to him but as time went on I was annoyed he hadn't paid me back so I started being bitchy haha. The last time I ever had contact with him - I was getting out of my car at the gym and he was walking to his car and he saw me. He came to my car and said whats up, I said Hi and he tried hugging me. I moved back and told him he lost the right to touch me. Hes like common just give me a hug and I told him no and he tried and I just gave him this look and he stopped (my looks DO NOT LIE). I told him "where is my money" he started laughing and said "fuck outta here with your money." I rolled my eyes and walked away and never spoke to him again.
This relationship taught me so many lessons and I stayed single for almost 3 years after him. I knew what I deserved after him. I knew I would never want to be with a lazy man ever again. I knew I needed someone level headed like myself. I just know that I am a good person and I deserve the same in a mate. I dated a lot of duds after him but found my love last year. A man who is nothing like any man I have ever been with. Someone who is everything he said he would be and does everything he says he will do. He treats me and my daughter like queens and knows my value. I feel like I went through all these crazy drama relationships so that I can appreciate a good man. I appreciate my man so much. I swear I thought I was going to be alone forever because my standards got so high that I thought no man would ever want to try that hard to be with me and then I met him. My dream come true. All the crap I went through with these losers brought me to my winner!
WHen I went to NOLA and he had a heart attack
He was mean to his family
I was scared to do anything because I knew he would get mad