August 18, 2019
Please be advised that this post may get a bit graphic because its REAL stuff that happens to real women.
I remember when I was pregnant, my sister gifted me the "What to expect when you are expecting" book. I was so excited and read the thing cover to cover. It was a nice book about things to expect but it definitely did not get into the details of the things you would experience throughout your pregnancy and after childbirth. I remember being terrified of giving birth because all the books and movies portray it as being horrific but to be honest, childbirth was the easiest part of the entire process for me personally. It was a piece of cake compared to the time it took for my vagina to heal. I had my daughter naturally and to this day I am not sure how many stitches I had down there. I remember asking the doctor and she looked up at me and ignored my question and kept sewing. Yikes was that painful! But before I get to the after effects of childbirth I will begin with what I dealt with in my pregnancy.
When I first found out I was pregnant, I was 20 years young so my body was ready for kids haha. I was one of the lucky women who did not suffer from morning sickness at all. Not once did I vomit while pregnant, I was super lucky! I do remember being extremely fatigued all the time though. When I would get home from work I would take a nap because I was so exhausted from my day, please note I worked in an office and sat down all day. I also remember being short of breath from any little thing I did. Like going up the stairs or walking down the hall I would lose my breath. Also be aware that all of your spidey senses are heightened during pregnancy, you hear better, your sense of smell is stronger, and you can see better. Weird, I know but you really do see things differently while pregnant.
Some other pre-baby experiences were nipple discharge. While pregnant, if you squeeze your nipples, you will get a clear sticky discharge and as you get closer to the end of your pregnancy that clear discharge will turn a cloudy white color which is your milk coming in. Please be advised that your nipples can leak through clothes before you even have the baby. Back when I was pregnant I was heavier, which meant I had bigger breasts than I do now and because they were pretty damn big I used to leak through my shirt which was quite embarrassing, so, always make sure to carry some extra breast pads around with you just in case. Another thing to keep in mind is the vaginal discharge during pregnancy which happens pretty much everyday. Panty liners are a must because it'll save your undies. Your body is making a baby and things are happening that we can't see but what we can see is the white smell-less discharge when we use the washroom.
Another thing my doctor didn't warn me about while I was pregnant was the charlie horses that will wake you out of your sleep screaming and crying. I am not a crier or much of a screamer but man I remember when those charlie horses came during my sleep I would scream so loud and start crying because it was so extremely painful and there is nothing you can honestly do about it, you just have to let it pass. Imagine being in a deep sleep and all of a sudden it feels like someone stuck a knife in your calves and it just holding the knife there to torture you. That's pretty much how I remember it.
Then comes to third trimester, the fun part (sarcasm). You are now walking around with a watermelon who takes up all your air to breath and there is less room inside now and all your organs are bunched up together including what feels like your lungs needing more airway capacity. The baby will sucker punch you in, what feels like your lungs, poke you in the rib cage, sit on your bladder making you feel like you have to go when you really don't, and it will definitely be harder to breath because all your organs inside are jammed together plus a baby. I remember not being able to sleep because my stomach was so big so if I slept on my sides or back it was too much pressure on my back and organs so I was subjected to sitting up while sleeping which was extremely uncomfortable. You obviously can't sleep on your stomach either so you don't have many options for sleeping comfortably, unfortunately. It has almost been 13 years since I have had a child so maybe now they have things that help pregnant women sleep better.
One last thing, contractions. You will get pre-labor contractions during the end of your pregnancy and this is completely normal. I used to experience these a few times a day towards the end of my pregnancy. At the time, I had a long hallway, so to get myself through these contractions, I would pace up and down the hallway to relax myself. This actually did help with keeping my mind of it and trying to focus on something other than the pain I was feeling.
Next up, Childbirth!
My baby girl was late so I was induced which kinda sucked. When you are induced you are not allowed to get out of bed until you have the baby and as I stated above, I used to calm myself down by pacing up and down the hall. So when I was induced that option was gone and I was just kinda sitting in the bed for hours just waiting for the baby to come which was not really fun. When you are induced, you are speeding up the labor process and with that comes more pain. You are getting contractions more frequently and with more force (understatement). After about an hour and a half I asked for the epidural. I remember my mom telling me I was fine and I could go a little while longer without it. I listened, I lasted 5 minutes then called the nurse back.
Once I got the epidural I did not feel the pain anymore thankfully but my body was still experiencing the pain and even though I could not feel it, I could feel my body experiencing it, if that makes any sense. My body would shake uncontrollably during a contraction which was the only reason I knew I was experiencing a contraction. It was cool yet a little scary.
In the movies, you always see the woman sweating and pushing and screaming in pain but only for like 2 minutes and then the baby is out. Boy if that isn't the biggest misconception. I never knew how hard it would be to push a baby out, it is so much work, and extremely exhausting! I remember they had me pushing for 2 minutes strait and then a 30 second break. 2 minutes may not sound like a long time but 2 minutes of pushing is taxing on your energy, let me tell you! Warning graphic: imagine having a really bad stomach ache and pushing really hard as you can for 2 minutes at a time for a few hours strait, yea that's childbirth. Additionally, I almost threw up on myself haha. I didn't but it sure felt like I was going to because I was pushing so hard and only was given 30 seconds to catch my breath again so imagine doing this for a couple hours at a time. Yea, very hard!
My daughter finally came out and I remember hearing nothing at first which scared me. About a minute later I finally heard her cry and I finally felt such a relief that words cannot describe. I was happy to finally have my baby out in the world but also happy the pregnancy portion of my life was over. I cried tears of joy because I felt like I had accomplished a huge task, which I did.
I was always under the impression that the sack kinda came out with the baby. Nope. I had the push the sack out with the help of the doctor and then she told me she was going to sew me up. I remember when I pushed that sack out it felt amazing! Felt like I lost 10 pounds automatically. When the doctor was sewing me, I remember her hand just going up and down and up and down and it was going on for a few minutes and then I got curious as to how many stitches I had. I asked her and she looked at me and ignored me. Bad sign that its a lot haha. I still to this day never knew how many stitches I had. I remember about an hour after birth I can feel my entire vaginal area (entire area your panties cover) feeling so hot and swollen. When I looked down after it looked like I had a less round grapefruit down there. It as super swollen and didn't look like my vajayjay. I had to wear an ice pack for the swelling.
My older sister stayed in the hospital with me my first night and I woke up in the middle of the night because I had to use the washroom. I am not lying to you when I tell you it took me about 15 minutes to scoot myself off that hospital bed because I was so sore and swollen that moving a little was super painful. When I went to the washroom for the first time after labor was excruciatingly painful! I had stitches so all I could feel was it burning and sharp pains when I was urinating, after that I dreaded going to the washroom because I knew it was going to be painful.
Not only was my vaginal area is pain but now my breasts were ready to milked. My breasts got full and hard as rocks. The rock part is not me exaggerating, its the truth, your breasts will fill up and literally be has hard as rocks because they are full. This is also painful and not fun and can be very embarrassing if you leak through your shirts like I did (please note that I had much bigger than normal breasts back then - I was pushing past a DD). Now you have a very hungry and frustrated teeny baby to teach to latch on to your breast.
The baby will bite, tug, and pull your nipples and it is definitely painful at first. Your body eventually gets used to it but it takes time. Your nipples will also get cracked, chapped, and they will even bleed too so brace yo'self! I remember every time my daughter would initially latch on, my toes would curl from the pain and I would hold my breath until she was on for a few seconds. P.S. I am not writing this to scare anyone but this is coming from a honest place and I honestly wish someone would have told me this stuff when I was expecting.
Back to the good stuff. Lets talk about after care of your body and hygiene after a baby. I was completely unaware that I would have to do what is called a "sitz bath" is a concoction you place on your toilet seat. Since your vagina is still healing and an open wound, you are at higher risk of infection so you are not allowed to use toilet paper. You must cleanse yourself with water. So the sitz is water spraying up into your anus and vagina. Think of it as a ghetto bidet, the one I had was at least. This thing is connected to a hose that's connected to a hospital bed bag of water. Then you sit there until the bag water runs out. Keep in mind the water has to be pretty warm. Warm water on an open wound is a bitch. Especially when that open wound is your delicate vagina. It would burn so bad at first when the water first hits it. No fun haha.
I think I had to do that for the first two weeks of being home but once I was ready to take a real shower it seriously took me a long time because of how long it would take me to clean my lady area. It was still so tender and sore that it hurt to clean it so I took extra long taking a shower. Please keep in mind that tis is my personal experience, everyone is different and my circumstance was that I am petite and my baby was 8 lbs and 9oz, 19 1/2 inches long. She was a big baby and my vagina reflected it (haha)!
Another thing to keep in mind ladies is not to get down on yourself about your body. I gained a total of 60 pounds during my pregnancy. Lost 30 pounds right after birth but I gained 30 pounds from my pregnancy. My stomach was bigger than it ever had been and I even went up a whole shoe size. A few months after the baby I went down half a shoe size but I honestly did not go back down to my regular shoe size for 2 freakin years! It took about a year for my body to bounce back to what it was was, plus some extra weight. So do not beat yourself up about your body, it takes time and you will get there, don't give up! Eat clean, exercise, and breastfeed the baby if you can. Breastfeeding burns a lot of cals ladies!
I unfortunately did not have good eating or exercise habits back then and was overweight. Once my daughter turned about 6 months, I started going to the gym but I still wasn't eating right. It wasn't until my daughter was 4 years old that I began researching different ways to lose weight. I started educating myself about eating healthy and I began my weight loss journey. I have lost about 60 pounds since then. I went from almost busting out of a size 15 pants and now I am a size 2. I lost a whole person, a small one. I can write a blog on this if you message me on How I lost 60 pounds.
Two last points, remember all that hardcore pushing you did? Well that puts a whole lot of pressure on your body, especially your anus. You may or may not get hemorrhoids during or after the baby. I got them after I had her which was not fun at all, especially when you need to go #2. It hurts and the hemorrhoids will bleed if you continue to push hard so be warned about that also. Additionally, remember those glorious 9+ months where you did not have to deal with having a period? It was fun right? Well, your body will pay you back for all that missed time, don't you worry! It will feel like like an eternity since normally we only have our period for a week long or less. I believe I had my period or was spotting for 2 months after my daughter was born. More fun! :-D
I think I covered most of my experiences before and after child birth and I hope it has been helpful to hear my experiences. Please comment, like, and share if you enjoyed reading this blog and found it helpful.
Please be advised that this post may get a bit graphic because its REAL stuff that happens to real women.
I remember when I was pregnant, my sister gifted me the "What to expect when you are expecting" book. I was so excited and read the thing cover to cover. It was a nice book about things to expect but it definitely did not get into the details of the things you would experience throughout your pregnancy and after childbirth. I remember being terrified of giving birth because all the books and movies portray it as being horrific but to be honest, childbirth was the easiest part of the entire process for me personally. It was a piece of cake compared to the time it took for my vagina to heal. I had my daughter naturally and to this day I am not sure how many stitches I had down there. I remember asking the doctor and she looked up at me and ignored my question and kept sewing. Yikes was that painful! But before I get to the after effects of childbirth I will begin with what I dealt with in my pregnancy.
When I first found out I was pregnant, I was 20 years young so my body was ready for kids haha. I was one of the lucky women who did not suffer from morning sickness at all. Not once did I vomit while pregnant, I was super lucky! I do remember being extremely fatigued all the time though. When I would get home from work I would take a nap because I was so exhausted from my day, please note I worked in an office and sat down all day. I also remember being short of breath from any little thing I did. Like going up the stairs or walking down the hall I would lose my breath. Also be aware that all of your spidey senses are heightened during pregnancy, you hear better, your sense of smell is stronger, and you can see better. Weird, I know but you really do see things differently while pregnant.
Some other pre-baby experiences were nipple discharge. While pregnant, if you squeeze your nipples, you will get a clear sticky discharge and as you get closer to the end of your pregnancy that clear discharge will turn a cloudy white color which is your milk coming in. Please be advised that your nipples can leak through clothes before you even have the baby. Back when I was pregnant I was heavier, which meant I had bigger breasts than I do now and because they were pretty damn big I used to leak through my shirt which was quite embarrassing, so, always make sure to carry some extra breast pads around with you just in case. Another thing to keep in mind is the vaginal discharge during pregnancy which happens pretty much everyday. Panty liners are a must because it'll save your undies. Your body is making a baby and things are happening that we can't see but what we can see is the white smell-less discharge when we use the washroom.
Another thing my doctor didn't warn me about while I was pregnant was the charlie horses that will wake you out of your sleep screaming and crying. I am not a crier or much of a screamer but man I remember when those charlie horses came during my sleep I would scream so loud and start crying because it was so extremely painful and there is nothing you can honestly do about it, you just have to let it pass. Imagine being in a deep sleep and all of a sudden it feels like someone stuck a knife in your calves and it just holding the knife there to torture you. That's pretty much how I remember it.
Then comes to third trimester, the fun part (sarcasm). You are now walking around with a watermelon who takes up all your air to breath and there is less room inside now and all your organs are bunched up together including what feels like your lungs needing more airway capacity. The baby will sucker punch you in, what feels like your lungs, poke you in the rib cage, sit on your bladder making you feel like you have to go when you really don't, and it will definitely be harder to breath because all your organs inside are jammed together plus a baby. I remember not being able to sleep because my stomach was so big so if I slept on my sides or back it was too much pressure on my back and organs so I was subjected to sitting up while sleeping which was extremely uncomfortable. You obviously can't sleep on your stomach either so you don't have many options for sleeping comfortably, unfortunately. It has almost been 13 years since I have had a child so maybe now they have things that help pregnant women sleep better.
One last thing, contractions. You will get pre-labor contractions during the end of your pregnancy and this is completely normal. I used to experience these a few times a day towards the end of my pregnancy. At the time, I had a long hallway, so to get myself through these contractions, I would pace up and down the hallway to relax myself. This actually did help with keeping my mind of it and trying to focus on something other than the pain I was feeling.
Next up, Childbirth!
My baby girl was late so I was induced which kinda sucked. When you are induced you are not allowed to get out of bed until you have the baby and as I stated above, I used to calm myself down by pacing up and down the hall. So when I was induced that option was gone and I was just kinda sitting in the bed for hours just waiting for the baby to come which was not really fun. When you are induced, you are speeding up the labor process and with that comes more pain. You are getting contractions more frequently and with more force (understatement). After about an hour and a half I asked for the epidural. I remember my mom telling me I was fine and I could go a little while longer without it. I listened, I lasted 5 minutes then called the nurse back.
Once I got the epidural I did not feel the pain anymore thankfully but my body was still experiencing the pain and even though I could not feel it, I could feel my body experiencing it, if that makes any sense. My body would shake uncontrollably during a contraction which was the only reason I knew I was experiencing a contraction. It was cool yet a little scary.
In the movies, you always see the woman sweating and pushing and screaming in pain but only for like 2 minutes and then the baby is out. Boy if that isn't the biggest misconception. I never knew how hard it would be to push a baby out, it is so much work, and extremely exhausting! I remember they had me pushing for 2 minutes strait and then a 30 second break. 2 minutes may not sound like a long time but 2 minutes of pushing is taxing on your energy, let me tell you! Warning graphic: imagine having a really bad stomach ache and pushing really hard as you can for 2 minutes at a time for a few hours strait, yea that's childbirth. Additionally, I almost threw up on myself haha. I didn't but it sure felt like I was going to because I was pushing so hard and only was given 30 seconds to catch my breath again so imagine doing this for a couple hours at a time. Yea, very hard!
My daughter finally came out and I remember hearing nothing at first which scared me. About a minute later I finally heard her cry and I finally felt such a relief that words cannot describe. I was happy to finally have my baby out in the world but also happy the pregnancy portion of my life was over. I cried tears of joy because I felt like I had accomplished a huge task, which I did.
I was always under the impression that the sack kinda came out with the baby. Nope. I had the push the sack out with the help of the doctor and then she told me she was going to sew me up. I remember when I pushed that sack out it felt amazing! Felt like I lost 10 pounds automatically. When the doctor was sewing me, I remember her hand just going up and down and up and down and it was going on for a few minutes and then I got curious as to how many stitches I had. I asked her and she looked at me and ignored me. Bad sign that its a lot haha. I still to this day never knew how many stitches I had. I remember about an hour after birth I can feel my entire vaginal area (entire area your panties cover) feeling so hot and swollen. When I looked down after it looked like I had a less round grapefruit down there. It as super swollen and didn't look like my vajayjay. I had to wear an ice pack for the swelling.
My older sister stayed in the hospital with me my first night and I woke up in the middle of the night because I had to use the washroom. I am not lying to you when I tell you it took me about 15 minutes to scoot myself off that hospital bed because I was so sore and swollen that moving a little was super painful. When I went to the washroom for the first time after labor was excruciatingly painful! I had stitches so all I could feel was it burning and sharp pains when I was urinating, after that I dreaded going to the washroom because I knew it was going to be painful.
Not only was my vaginal area is pain but now my breasts were ready to milked. My breasts got full and hard as rocks. The rock part is not me exaggerating, its the truth, your breasts will fill up and literally be has hard as rocks because they are full. This is also painful and not fun and can be very embarrassing if you leak through your shirts like I did (please note that I had much bigger than normal breasts back then - I was pushing past a DD). Now you have a very hungry and frustrated teeny baby to teach to latch on to your breast.
The baby will bite, tug, and pull your nipples and it is definitely painful at first. Your body eventually gets used to it but it takes time. Your nipples will also get cracked, chapped, and they will even bleed too so brace yo'self! I remember every time my daughter would initially latch on, my toes would curl from the pain and I would hold my breath until she was on for a few seconds. P.S. I am not writing this to scare anyone but this is coming from a honest place and I honestly wish someone would have told me this stuff when I was expecting.
Back to the good stuff. Lets talk about after care of your body and hygiene after a baby. I was completely unaware that I would have to do what is called a "sitz bath" is a concoction you place on your toilet seat. Since your vagina is still healing and an open wound, you are at higher risk of infection so you are not allowed to use toilet paper. You must cleanse yourself with water. So the sitz is water spraying up into your anus and vagina. Think of it as a ghetto bidet, the one I had was at least. This thing is connected to a hose that's connected to a hospital bed bag of water. Then you sit there until the bag water runs out. Keep in mind the water has to be pretty warm. Warm water on an open wound is a bitch. Especially when that open wound is your delicate vagina. It would burn so bad at first when the water first hits it. No fun haha.
I think I had to do that for the first two weeks of being home but once I was ready to take a real shower it seriously took me a long time because of how long it would take me to clean my lady area. It was still so tender and sore that it hurt to clean it so I took extra long taking a shower. Please keep in mind that tis is my personal experience, everyone is different and my circumstance was that I am petite and my baby was 8 lbs and 9oz, 19 1/2 inches long. She was a big baby and my vagina reflected it (haha)!
Another thing to keep in mind ladies is not to get down on yourself about your body. I gained a total of 60 pounds during my pregnancy. Lost 30 pounds right after birth but I gained 30 pounds from my pregnancy. My stomach was bigger than it ever had been and I even went up a whole shoe size. A few months after the baby I went down half a shoe size but I honestly did not go back down to my regular shoe size for 2 freakin years! It took about a year for my body to bounce back to what it was was, plus some extra weight. So do not beat yourself up about your body, it takes time and you will get there, don't give up! Eat clean, exercise, and breastfeed the baby if you can. Breastfeeding burns a lot of cals ladies!
I unfortunately did not have good eating or exercise habits back then and was overweight. Once my daughter turned about 6 months, I started going to the gym but I still wasn't eating right. It wasn't until my daughter was 4 years old that I began researching different ways to lose weight. I started educating myself about eating healthy and I began my weight loss journey. I have lost about 60 pounds since then. I went from almost busting out of a size 15 pants and now I am a size 2. I lost a whole person, a small one. I can write a blog on this if you message me on How I lost 60 pounds.
Two last points, remember all that hardcore pushing you did? Well that puts a whole lot of pressure on your body, especially your anus. You may or may not get hemorrhoids during or after the baby. I got them after I had her which was not fun at all, especially when you need to go #2. It hurts and the hemorrhoids will bleed if you continue to push hard so be warned about that also. Additionally, remember those glorious 9+ months where you did not have to deal with having a period? It was fun right? Well, your body will pay you back for all that missed time, don't you worry! It will feel like like an eternity since normally we only have our period for a week long or less. I believe I had my period or was spotting for 2 months after my daughter was born. More fun! :-D
I think I covered most of my experiences before and after child birth and I hope it has been helpful to hear my experiences. Please comment, like, and share if you enjoyed reading this blog and found it helpful.
Photo used under Creative Commons from David Swift Photography